Love This...

I have not blogged for a while. My favorite form of emotional outlet has been neglected. Getting up every day, routine matters of life are taking all the energy that I have to give. Distractions are keeping me from thinking of and processing the last month…or even year. I guess I have shut down. It’s fine by me and it feels right and appropriate. I have hard days and good days. I will write more as soon as I am ready, I just need more time to be numb, to process. I still have no words or even new information about what happened, why our PGD went wrong. Genesis (the lab) is conducting an investigation. I (should) know more in the next few weeks…

To get me through today, I kept thinking of the beautiful lyrics of this song from Jem. So much of it resonates with me particularly the text in bold. I just wanted to share…. This song makes me feel a little stronger, less alone and helps me get through the darker moments.

You Will Make It

Go to bed everything's alright
Don't know the whole world's changing
As you sleep through the night
Wake up slowly and it's a different world

Hear the news and the floods begin
Screams so loud but only felt within
Heart is shattered
The pieces can't be found

I feel your pain, I wrote this song for you, for you
You will make it, you will make it through
I promise you, he would want you to

Months go by, still living in a daze
Don't know what you've done
With the last seven days
Soul is numb and life is like a dream

Helping hands but you push them away
How could they understand
Don't wanna share your pain
Afraid to heal, 'cause that would mean goodbye

I feel your pain, I wrote this song for you, for you
You will make it, you will make it through
I promise you, she would want you to

One day sunlight hits a photograph
And it makes you smile
The memories dance around you now
And they make you smile
You're not alone
You'll never be
Just like the stars
They oversee
And they whisper to you
You're still, you're still, you're still, you're still alive

I feel your pain, I wrote this song for you, for you
You will make it, you will make it through
I promise you, they would want you to

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sun on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight
I am the soft stars that shine at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there; I did not die