Family

I've come to England and will be going to Hungary/Budapest to see my parent's and family. As I live in LA going home has always been such a treat for me, one that would only occur once or twice a year. I always cherish these rare times with them, they would always make me so happy. Last time I was there I was 4 months pregnant and full of hopes and dreams of my new baby. Now I just felt empty. It made me see that nothing makes things feel better, the things I would enjoy; going away, shopping etc.. nothing lessens the pain. No matter where you are it is always with you It is a darkness, an emptiness that follows you..sits in your heart wherever you are...whatever you are doing, always there.

My aunt, grandmothers and friends reaching out in their own special ways - acknowledging what happened, acknowledging Amelie, showing their pain and sadness. It doesn't lessen the pain, make things better but it is so important right now. To know they care, warms my heart. Seeing so many have been touched by my beautiful baby. To know that so many people love and cared. It means a lot.

A little gesture of remembrance from my  aunt and grandmother

 at St. Anna Church in Budapest Hungary.